18.8.08

parental dilemma

I had a conversation with a friend recently about what type of parents we will be when we are married, with children. It is like an obligation nowadays that both parents have to work, to have good careers, due to the demands and the needs of a family in these modern times. It is not often do we see a conventional family, where the common understanding is that the father is usually the soul bread-winner.

But what impact does this bring to the children? How does it affect the most basic institution in a human's cycle of life, which is the structure of the family itself? I would state honestly here, in an ideal world, I would love to have a wife who would stay home, takes care of the household, while I carry on with the duties of a father, to bring income and support the family. While the demands will not permit this, as a realist, I would also love to see my wife as a successful lady. My wife, also a realist, would also think that her diploma or degree would go to waste if it is not put to use.

So where does this lead to? At the same time, I am also not really in favour with the idea of leaving my children alone with a stranger. The touch of a mother is always important in a child's development, as what I have experienced during my childhood days. While the strength of a father will provide the pillar towards a strong family. The dilemma is, what will happen when one of these qualities does not exist anymore? Is this the actual reason why children nowadays are so exposed to the negatives of life?

I recently read an article ("Homework Given for Good Reason" by Practicum Teacher, The Star, 12 August 2008) regarding a teacher's dismay about the complaints aimed at them, for trying to discipline the students. It's a pity to the teachers that when they are supposed to assume the parents' role while the children are at school, some thoughtless parents are blaming them for scolding and hurting their child. We have had enough by not attending to our children that often anymore, I believe we should not get in the teachers' way when they are trying to carry out their noble profession. Is it wrong to actually give piles of homework to the students? Is it really a crime to punish those who miss out on their assignments?

This makes us think, and ponder, what future generation are we creating, when obviously, with each and every day, we linger with the possibility of losing touch with our children.

5 comments:

adexx9181 said...

iz , I have the same tot too… ya .. always.. long ago I – while I was asked what do picture myself in 5 yr time … I said ,i cant imagine how my life would be then, perhaps a housewife . Successful housewife! Yea .. Reality hurt! I don’t think it could happen as I need to re pay my study loan plus my others loan .. (Unless I am married to super rich guy- ada yg mo kasi kanal ka..eheheh)

I am speaking on behalf of the other teacher too… parents out there , tolong la… if the teacher punish the kids for being not so good at school , the parents will show up in the school and scolded the teacher , but if the teacher made the student SOMEONE … did any parent come and say THANK YOU? Or perhaps share the fruits together once their kids making million dollars…

azrInah said...

I agree with you!I oso want to take care of my children by myself. Well, this is not my 1st time talking bout this stuff, talked with sazali (yeah u know him) & azie too that i will not want my kids to be brought up by strangers. I wanted to see my kids membesar depan mata nih.

To be realistic, how? I am working 8 hrs a day, 5 days a week. I dunno bout the teacher thing, but heard bout it, so to all teachers out there...GAMBATTE!

impedius said...

BALANCE. You'll figure it out when you have children. Eventually you or your wife or both need to spend time for yourselves and the children. You must at least have a bit of both. Lots of time with children is always good but you need your own time too plus the one with your wife. Its important. Trust me. In time you'll have to trust your children in the care of another. I'm talking about when you go do sports, go out for dates with your wife, both working overtime, etc. Best solution, pick someone you're familiar with and can trust. Don't get me wrong, regardless your child is always number one. ;-) I'm just saying you and your wife still need your own time too every now and then. Penting tu geng. As long as your child is always in your mind and constantly gets your attention when required, its all good.

Twiggy said...

hmm... i always thought i'd be a garang mom.. but then again.. who knows.. dapat anak sendiri terus lembik.. hehehehe

Layne said...

Even though I'm not a mum I would love to stay home with my children for the first few years of their life. The first years of a child's life is really crucial. How you mould them in the first few years shapes the person they would be in life.

Just got back from Denmark, over there parents gets 2 years paid leave from work. The 2 years could be claimed by the mother or shared with the father to also have time off in the first 2 years of the child's life.

Cool kan...

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